Gratitude for Being a Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
I had not planned to use this blog for this. I had no plans for this blog at all, other than as a place to record my thoughts as I venture through this extraordinary time in history. It's something I recommend everyone do. Keeping a journal stills the mind as it frees fears locked tightly in the castle of the ego, that great fortress that doesn't allow us to be flawed, humble, human or mortal.
However, I know this would not be an honest account if I did not express my extreme gratitude for being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. To express that gratitude publicly, outside of church, is hard for me. It's not that I'm afraid of rejection, although I know that might happen. I'm not that social of a person anyway, and I've always had a few really good friends who I know will stick by me no matter what. My social world is simply not going to crumble if I have the courage to state what I believe. And even if it did, most of my life is spent with Marci and the dogs anyway, or by myself, writing or working in the garden. I love my life, but it is a pretty small world. Socially, I don't have much to lose.
No, the reason I hesitate to bear testimony of the gospel is that it feels like I'm selling something. And of course, I am. But that simply is not in my nature. I write to bear witness, not to sell. My writing is my way of making sense of the world, and then admittedly, there is something in me that wants to get it out there where others can read it. I'm not sure why. However, I really am not all that interested in converting others to my world view. My favorite places have always been places where I have been the minority. I loved living in El Paso and spending great expanses of time across the border in Juarez, Mexico, where I didn't even speak the same language. I loved living in the Navajo Nation. Perhaps, because I'm so shy, I feel most connected in environments where nobody knows my name. Because of that, I like multicultural environments, places where people believe differently. Though now devoutly Mormon, I have almost as many Buddhist books in my home--even after weeding out my collection--as I do LDS books. I love learning how others think and perceive this reality we call life.
So, this is hard for me, but I truly am grateful to be experiencing these strange times through the lens of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Although I do think the rapid nature of COVID-19 has surprised members of the church the same as everyone else, the overall experience has not caught us off guard in the same way as others. Since I was a child, members of the Church have been consistently told to have extra food storage on hand. We're supposed to have a year-supply if possible. My family never accomplished that, and neither have Marci and I. But, we also don't live week to week. We are more prepared for food shortages than the average person is.
Nor were we all that surprised when the Church of Jesus Christ first voluntarily announced Sunday church services would be suspended, which was then followed by a national and state prohibition on all gatherings exceeding 10 people. The reason members were not taken back on what would otherwise seem like shocking events was that during the 188th Semiannual General Conference in October of 2018, Russel M. Nelson, the Church President and current Prophet announced that our Sunday worship block would be cut from three hours to two hours, stating, "We need an adjustment to this pattern. It is time for home-centered church, supported by what takes place inside our branch, ward, and stake buildings." I remember very clearly telling Marci that Sunday, "They must be preparing for a time when we will no longer be able to get to our church buildings."
Of course, I did not envision COVID-19. I thought it would be fires or possibly earthquakes. I'm not sure even our Prophet directly saw COVID-19 coming. However, he clearly received an impression in advance of the direction the Church needed to take to remain strong through this crisis. It is also probably no coincidence that he is a doctor. For members of The Church of Latter Day Saints, the world right now is simply confirmation that we are led by a Prophet, someone who receives revelation at this time, not only for the Church, but for the world.
However, I must make it clear that although we do believe our Prophets have been foreordained, it is the calling to the position, the role in the Church, not the man that entitles them to that knowledge. We have felt something similar in our own callings--as bishops, as elders quorum presidents, as Sunday school teachers, as nursery teachers. Each calling comes with insight from the Holy Ghost to those who hold that stewardship at that particular time. We believe the spirit prompts us to say and do the right things to help those our calling has placed us in a leadership role over at that time. The position of Prophet is for life, once called, although most of our Prophets are elderly when called to that position. For most of us, our callings are temporary, and so we feel that discerning power given by the Holy Ghost come and go with our callings.
For instance, I spent most of my life inactive, outside the Church. For most of my life I simply did not believe in its teachings. I didn't attend church. I didn't read my scriptures. I didn't pray. I didn't even believe in God. I loved and respected my parents, who were members, but other than that I wanted nothing to do with the Church. So, when I returned and was called to be gospel doctrine teacher, I was taken back. I'm an English teacher by profession, and I love teaching, but because of all my years outside the gospel, my knowledge of the doctrine is very limited, although growing. In my mind I was completely the wrong choice for the job. Yet, when I gave those lessons, I absolutely know that my Heavenly Father was there with me, leading me, guiding me, to teach the right thing--even though I clearly lacked the scriptural knowledge. I simply could feel the right words being placed in my mind. After I was replaced and someone else was called, I no longer had that clarity. Now I have to work much harder to gain that same understanding.
Most members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have felt this. So, it is easy for us to follow our Prophet. We do not worship the man. We worship God, who provides revelation through ordinary people doing their best to keep the commandments of God and serve Him unselfishly and to the fullest of their ability.
I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. I have had it confirmed to me through a warm, quiet, but unmistakable feeling as concrete and real as the cedar ridge outside my front window. I'm thankful to be a member of the Church during these unsure times and to know without a shadow of doubt all is well. I do not proclaim to know the outcome of COVID-19, the economy, or world-society at large. I'm as fuzzy and anxious about current events as anyone. For all I know, Google, blogger, the internet, electricity, and my job could all be gone tomorrow. There could be earthquakes, wars, famine. I have no special insight on temporal matters.
However, what I do know for sure is that all is well, that the final outcome is driven by God's grace and glory, that the plan is good, and that we will spend eternities experiencing gratitude for this very human experience called life.
I have that peace and knowledge precisely because I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am so incredibly grateful for that. I once had an all-consuming darkness that lived in the pit of my soul, a void where God should be. I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't at least occasionally have the guts to share the source of the joy I have found.
We always end our testimonies this way, and so I will do the same here: I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
However, I know this would not be an honest account if I did not express my extreme gratitude for being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. To express that gratitude publicly, outside of church, is hard for me. It's not that I'm afraid of rejection, although I know that might happen. I'm not that social of a person anyway, and I've always had a few really good friends who I know will stick by me no matter what. My social world is simply not going to crumble if I have the courage to state what I believe. And even if it did, most of my life is spent with Marci and the dogs anyway, or by myself, writing or working in the garden. I love my life, but it is a pretty small world. Socially, I don't have much to lose.
No, the reason I hesitate to bear testimony of the gospel is that it feels like I'm selling something. And of course, I am. But that simply is not in my nature. I write to bear witness, not to sell. My writing is my way of making sense of the world, and then admittedly, there is something in me that wants to get it out there where others can read it. I'm not sure why. However, I really am not all that interested in converting others to my world view. My favorite places have always been places where I have been the minority. I loved living in El Paso and spending great expanses of time across the border in Juarez, Mexico, where I didn't even speak the same language. I loved living in the Navajo Nation. Perhaps, because I'm so shy, I feel most connected in environments where nobody knows my name. Because of that, I like multicultural environments, places where people believe differently. Though now devoutly Mormon, I have almost as many Buddhist books in my home--even after weeding out my collection--as I do LDS books. I love learning how others think and perceive this reality we call life.
So, this is hard for me, but I truly am grateful to be experiencing these strange times through the lens of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Although I do think the rapid nature of COVID-19 has surprised members of the church the same as everyone else, the overall experience has not caught us off guard in the same way as others. Since I was a child, members of the Church have been consistently told to have extra food storage on hand. We're supposed to have a year-supply if possible. My family never accomplished that, and neither have Marci and I. But, we also don't live week to week. We are more prepared for food shortages than the average person is.
Nor were we all that surprised when the Church of Jesus Christ first voluntarily announced Sunday church services would be suspended, which was then followed by a national and state prohibition on all gatherings exceeding 10 people. The reason members were not taken back on what would otherwise seem like shocking events was that during the 188th Semiannual General Conference in October of 2018, Russel M. Nelson, the Church President and current Prophet announced that our Sunday worship block would be cut from three hours to two hours, stating, "We need an adjustment to this pattern. It is time for home-centered church, supported by what takes place inside our branch, ward, and stake buildings." I remember very clearly telling Marci that Sunday, "They must be preparing for a time when we will no longer be able to get to our church buildings."
Of course, I did not envision COVID-19. I thought it would be fires or possibly earthquakes. I'm not sure even our Prophet directly saw COVID-19 coming. However, he clearly received an impression in advance of the direction the Church needed to take to remain strong through this crisis. It is also probably no coincidence that he is a doctor. For members of The Church of Latter Day Saints, the world right now is simply confirmation that we are led by a Prophet, someone who receives revelation at this time, not only for the Church, but for the world.
However, I must make it clear that although we do believe our Prophets have been foreordained, it is the calling to the position, the role in the Church, not the man that entitles them to that knowledge. We have felt something similar in our own callings--as bishops, as elders quorum presidents, as Sunday school teachers, as nursery teachers. Each calling comes with insight from the Holy Ghost to those who hold that stewardship at that particular time. We believe the spirit prompts us to say and do the right things to help those our calling has placed us in a leadership role over at that time. The position of Prophet is for life, once called, although most of our Prophets are elderly when called to that position. For most of us, our callings are temporary, and so we feel that discerning power given by the Holy Ghost come and go with our callings.
For instance, I spent most of my life inactive, outside the Church. For most of my life I simply did not believe in its teachings. I didn't attend church. I didn't read my scriptures. I didn't pray. I didn't even believe in God. I loved and respected my parents, who were members, but other than that I wanted nothing to do with the Church. So, when I returned and was called to be gospel doctrine teacher, I was taken back. I'm an English teacher by profession, and I love teaching, but because of all my years outside the gospel, my knowledge of the doctrine is very limited, although growing. In my mind I was completely the wrong choice for the job. Yet, when I gave those lessons, I absolutely know that my Heavenly Father was there with me, leading me, guiding me, to teach the right thing--even though I clearly lacked the scriptural knowledge. I simply could feel the right words being placed in my mind. After I was replaced and someone else was called, I no longer had that clarity. Now I have to work much harder to gain that same understanding.
Most members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints have felt this. So, it is easy for us to follow our Prophet. We do not worship the man. We worship God, who provides revelation through ordinary people doing their best to keep the commandments of God and serve Him unselfishly and to the fullest of their ability.
I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true. I have had it confirmed to me through a warm, quiet, but unmistakable feeling as concrete and real as the cedar ridge outside my front window. I'm thankful to be a member of the Church during these unsure times and to know without a shadow of doubt all is well. I do not proclaim to know the outcome of COVID-19, the economy, or world-society at large. I'm as fuzzy and anxious about current events as anyone. For all I know, Google, blogger, the internet, electricity, and my job could all be gone tomorrow. There could be earthquakes, wars, famine. I have no special insight on temporal matters.
However, what I do know for sure is that all is well, that the final outcome is driven by God's grace and glory, that the plan is good, and that we will spend eternities experiencing gratitude for this very human experience called life.
I have that peace and knowledge precisely because I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am so incredibly grateful for that. I once had an all-consuming darkness that lived in the pit of my soul, a void where God should be. I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't at least occasionally have the guts to share the source of the joy I have found.
We always end our testimonies this way, and so I will do the same here: I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
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